The Rosebark Restlog

Classification:
Truncus mollis roseus
 
Habitat:
Forest floors, moss beds, couches, and the occasional human bed.
 
Temperament:
Extremely docile; prone to prolonged horizontal inactivity.
 
Distinguishing Features:
Long rectangular body covered in dense, dusty-rose textured growth. Small flashes of warmer color may be visible along the underside.
 
Preserve Notes:
Rosebark Restlogs are frequently mistaken for fallen timber from a distance. Unlike ordinary logs, however, they are remarkably soft and appear to encourage nearby humans to lie down.
 
Once established in a comfortable location, specimens rarely move voluntarily.
 
Preserve Advisory: 
PLEASE DO NOT CHOP.
 
Price:
$65 + shipping.